


Glass heart

by Vincent_van_Eifert



Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Other, Slice of Life, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29954544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vincent_van_Eifert/pseuds/Vincent_van_Eifert
Summary: This story will have mistakes, faults and be generally terrible. I write this to cope with stuff.





	Glass heart

Savert Mekiner.. An ordinary guy, who had an ordinary life. Sitting in his basement, remembering his past. He could remember himself laughing, seeing his friends around him, laughing with him.. But the sound of his own laugh had long disappeared. Turning his head towards his wall mounted mirror, staring into a pair of eyes that no longer showed any will to live. He tried to smile. It felt forced.. and looked absolutely terrible, as if his face had forgotten how to use the muscles. It was foreign to him now. He let his face fall back into its current normalcy.. It wasn’t exactly a frown.. He looked as if he was in mourning. He sighed and looked away.  
How long had it been since he last smiled? 6 years? 7? He couldn’t remember.  
His phone pinged..

“I’ll be home at 5”

Sandra.. His wife.. She worked a desk job, pushing papers. She was the breadwinner in the house while he was the stay at home father. They had two young kids. Both about to get back home from school.

He knew what that text meant. He had to make sure there was dinner ready when she came home. He looked around him.. The house was cluttered with toys that the kids had left laying around. He needed to clean it up. Was there even a point picking them up? The kids were about to return and would start playing again.. He decided to let the toys stay.. He grabbed a few socks and shirts off the floor to toss over to the laundry room to be washed later. His whole body moving slow, riddled with pain and exhaustion from decades of untreated arthritis. Joints cracking loudly as he picked up the last sock of the floor. The kids would return any minute..

Reluctantly he began to climb the stairs, knees crunching uncomfortably with every step. At the top he looked back down the stairs. What if he was to just let himself fall and break his neck? He shook his head to dismiss the thought. It was not welcome. He looked around the living room. Doorway outside looked a bit messy. Kids shoes and extra jackets were laying on a heap next to the coatrack. He walked over to the coatrack and picked up the jackets to hang. As he hung up the last one the familiar rumble of the school bus was heard. He sighed and forced his face into a smile. He was fine, no pain, nothing. His kids did not need to see how tired he looked. They needed him to be there for them, for anything. 

He walked outside as the kids got off the bus. Smiling at them as they ran towards him.  
“Hey, Kids! Had a fun day in school?”

“Yeeeeah!” they both yelled back, big smiles across their faces. He let them inside where they quickly shed off their backpacks. “Can we play with chalk outside?”

“Yeah, sure. It is a nice day today.” He said as he grabbed the bag of chalk. He sat down on the front steps, keeping a watchful eye on his kids as they transformed the sidewalk into a battlefield of colors. Rainbows, people, animals.. The kids were having fun. He didn’t go inside.. What if something would happen to the kids? An hour later, the sidewalk was practically covered in colors. “Let’s go inside. Do you have any homework to do?”  
The kids looked at him, oldest nodded, and both began dejectedly picking up the chalk. 

“I have math homework..” The oldest said as they put the last bit of chalk back in the bag. 

“Alright, lets put the chalk away and go get that done.” He smiled at them as he picked the bag of chalk up and opened the door. The youngest running in and dropping down at the toys, shoes already off and laying on the floor. Oldest walked in and took off their shoes by the rack and began to take out the homework. Shortly after he was sitting at the table, helping his oldest with any math that they had a hard time figuring out. Youngest gathering more toys to play with. After about half an hour, the homework was done and the oldest kid joined the youngest in play. 30 minutes left before Sandra would come home.

“What do you want for dinner?” he asked his kids. Hoping for a hint of something to make. He hated cooking. 

“I dunno.” the oldest replied, not even looking at him as they were too into playing. Youngest just shrugged.

Okay.. that was the usual answer.. Why did he even bother asking? He went into the kitchen, looked into the cupboards and sighed. He had to figure something new, or she would complain about always getting the same old. He looked at the rice.. She would complain about that... Mac and cheese? No.. Oldest doesn’t like it.. Spaghetti? No, youngest hates it.. Fish? Again, youngest would refuse.. Potatoes? Both kids would not eat it, but she would.. As per usual, it would end up with a minimum of two different dishes.. He would eat whatever was left over. He grabbed a box of mac and cheese. That would cover her and the youngest.. He yelled towards the living room. “What do you want to eat instead of mac and cheese?”

“I don’t know! What is there?” his oldest yelled back. He sighed. Was he really expecting a different answer? Mashed potatoes would probably work.. Maybe with some sausage..  
He set two pots ready to boil. He heard the door open. She was home. 

“Hey kids, how was school?” He heard her ask the kids.  
“It was good” The kids replied.  
Steps were heard coming closer to the kitchen. 

“What you making?” she asked in a monotone.

“mac and cheese..” He replied, giving her a forced smile he hoped looked genuine enough.

“Don’t forget to add pepper. And garlic salt.” She said and turned away, walking away towards her office where she would be sitting, watching politics. 

He looked down at the floor. That was as good it was going to get. No “hi honey, i’m home”, no hugs, no kisses.. That hadn’t happened in years. He sighed and turned back towards the counters and began cutting up the sausage. What if he was to just... slice his wrist? Or maybe throat would be faster?  
Cutting the last piece, he put the knife quickly away in the dishwasher. He added the sausage in s smaller pot to cook.

When the food was finally done, he plated it up into four. Two with mac and cheese and the other two with mashed potatoes and sausage. He added pepper and garlic salt on her food. “Kids, come get your food!” He yelled as he picked up his wife’s plate and walked towards her office. She was watching a movie. He placed the plate in front of her, looked at her a second or two and walked back out. Not even a thank you..  
He walked back to the kitchen to grab his food. 

“Can we eat downstairs?” The kids asked him.

“Sure, just remember to bring the plates back upstairs.” 

The kids were quickly walking downstairs to eat in front of their own computers, watching movies or playing games. He himself might as well do the same. Grabbing his own plate he walked towards the stairs. Looking over towards the living room. The toy pile had grown significantly. He’d clean it after dinner. He walked downstairs, pain shooting up his legs as his knees protested.

He walked into his office, which was next to the kids play room. He would easily hear if anything happened. He sat down to eat. His kids coming in a few times to grab a water bottle from his 24 pack he had carried down earlier. Halfway through his food, he heard her walking upstairs to return the plate to the kitchen and walking back towards the office. Kids had started fighting over something. Shortly after, youngest came in to tattle on the oldest for doing something on their game, but also to get help getting something working on the computer. He looked at his food, sighed and stood up. Helped get a new game going, went back to his food and sat down. The food was now cold. Oh well, he was used to it. As he finished his food, he heard a “hey!” from up the stairs. He stood up again, walked over to the stairs and looked up. She stood there with her laundry basket. “I need these clean for tomorrow.” She said, looking down at him. He knew she wouldn’t carry it down herself, so he walked up the stairs again, ignoring the pain in his knees and grabbed the basket. She walked off. Alright.. He would clean the toys after he filled the machine.. He walked back down the stairs, hauling the full laundry basket. Separating whites from darks, delicate from regular, filling the machine, checking the overflow sink, cleaning filter.. Hopefully the drain was working..

He went back to his office. He needed to rest his knees a little. He sat down, popped a couple of painkillers and watched a short video on youtube while waiting for the meds to kick in. His phone pinged.

“fix me”

He sighed.. She wanted him to rub her legs again. Alright..  
He stood up, walked up the stairs again, groaning slightly as his knees ground, bone against bone. Walked to her bedroom. She was laying on the bed, watching movies on the bedroom tv. He began rubbing her feet and calves, using some massage oil which caused his hands to itch uncomfortably. But he staid quiet. “You should clean around the house. I work all day and you just sit and laze around doing nothing.” She complained without looking at him. He finished rubbing her legs.

“I gotta go get the kids ready for bed..” he told her as he walked out of the room to go wash off the oil of his now itchy and irritated hands. He looked at himself in the mirror.. What if he smashed his face through it? Or what about the razors in here? He looked away, dried his hands and walked out. Grabbing a few toys off the floor to bring back downstairs. “Get ready for bed, kids. Go potty, brush your teeth and wash your face.” he yelled towards the playroom. The kids running past him on the stairs. He tosses the toys into a toy box, looked over at the computer desk and sighed. Two plates were there, one empty and the other half full. The washing machine sounding its last cycle. 

He grabbed the plates, walked back upstairs to put i to the kitchen, gave a hug and kiss to the kids as they ran up to him before going to bed. “Can you read, pleeeassse?” they pleaded. 

“Alright..” He said and followed them to their bedroom to read a chapter of their favorite book. 

An hour of reading later, the kids finally asleep, he walked back towards the stairs, turning off lights and walked back downstairs. Emptying and refilling the machine. He couldn’t clean upstairs as everyone else were now sleeping. He went back into his office to watch a movie or two while waiting for the washing machine and dryer.

Two loads and a movie later, he carried the basket back upstairs, making sure to be quiet, depositing it quietly into her bedroom and walked back downstairs. Turning off lights and laying down on the couch he had there for resting. He didn’t feel like waking her up by getting into the bed. She had to get up early for work.  
He looked at the time on his phone.. It was 1 am. Hopefully he would fall asleep fast.. He would get 5 hours at best. He didn’t count on it.. knowing that the pain in his joints would keep him awake for an additional hour while he tried to relax. 

He eventually did fall asleep.. He would have to clean in the morning..


End file.
